Is this the end of this blog?
I refuse. I say that we keep going until we have not hands to write, no eyes to read, no brain to think.

Max O'Hern

Why did he decide to leave us when we needed him most?

Daniel Lin: I have an assassin trailing you.

I got a C in his class. This means war.

Dan Lin: Hero Of The Human Resistance

Star date: 06042009.

As rain falls hard on Atlanta, I find myself seated in a cold, dark movie theater once more this week. Deciding that three times was enough, I opted not to see Ghosts of Girlfriends Past another time and instead wound up seeing Terminator Salvation, a movie lacking in Matthew McConnaHEY!'s southern charm but otherwise enjoyable.
That is, of course, until I saw who had executively produced the film: one "Dan Lin". That's right, the economics professor-senator-playboy millionaire is actually none of those things. In reality (stardate 06042018) he is a fighter in the TechCom resistance movement. I knew he was from Los Angeles... just not post-apocalyptic Los Angeles. This man traveled back in time to create what we thought was an enjoyable summer-movie romp, but was in fact a docu-drama, a warning from the future about our impending doom.
What lengths this selfless man went to, to avert humanity's undoing! He dodged T-600s, T-800s and Hunter-Killer units to infiltrate the Skynet compound. He underwent the risky time-traveling process, a process comrade Sumner did not survive and instead wound up in a fire escape (look it up). He graded economics papers of undergrad students who didn't buy the textbook. This fearless man is a saint, worthy of our adoration.

God bless you, Dan Lin.

wassssssuppppppp: why do people say such retarded shit

Just a couple thought provoking questions for you jibblers...

Why do people say things like "cool as shit" and "cute as hell"?

Is shit cool? No.

Is hell cute? No. 

Quick test

I want to see how long it takes for someone to notice this

An Open Letter to Dan Lin

With Picture of First Google Image Result for "Senator Dan Lin"

Senator Dan Lin canceled (cancelled?) class tomorrow (today?).

I responded:

"Hey, Senator Lin. This is weird, man. i'm looking at your email right now and its pretty intense. First of all, they way you spelled "Canceled" is mind blowing. My best friend and room mate Nathan Kasai (you may know him, he's in your class too :)) told me that apparently you can spell that word as either "canceled" or "cancelled" and both ways are fine. Thank you so much for teaching me even when not in class. You never cease to astound me.
Secondly, I'm terribley sorry to hear about your daughter. I currently have a sore throat and a semi-runny nose. Although, in no way am I comparing your daughter's tragic condition to mine.
Thirdly, there is so much snow outside. It reminds of that Twilight Zone episode where the Earth is heading closer to the Sun and everyone on the planet is burning. Harsh, right? But, in the end of the episode, there is a major plot twist. It turns out that the protagonist is actually suffering from a very high fever (hey, just like your daughter. Whats her name again?) and, in fact, the Earth is moving away from the Sun and everything and everyone is freezing. That's where the snow comes in. So look on the bright side: at least we're not freezing to death! :)
Anyway, I look forward to covering all of Mankiw - Chapter 11 in Thursday's class. I'll be the guy with the sweet boombox and sparkly headband. I'll wave!
Allright, the Nyquil is starting to mellow out so I'm gonna head to sleep while I can. I can't wait to see you Thursday. Wait, do you prefer "Electric Avenue" or "Take on Me"? I'll play "Take on Me" since you haven't heard that one yet.

O.K. Now I'll let you get back to business, Professor Senator Lin.

- Marcopher Z."

Laus Deo

One detail that is never mentioned is that in Washington , D.C. there can never be a building of greater height than theWashington Monument .With all the uproar about removing the ten commandments, etc., this is worth a moment or two of your time. I was not aware of this amazing historica l information.On the aluminum cap, atop theWashington Monument in Washington , D.C. , are displayed two words: Laus Deo.No one can see these words. In fact, most visitors to the monument are totally unaware they are even there and for that matter, probably couldn't care less.

Once you know Laus Deo's history, you will want to share this with everyone you know. These words have been there for many years; they are 555 feet, 5.125 inches high, perched atop the monument, facing skyward to the Father of our nation, overlooking the 69 square miles which comprise the District of Columbia, capital of th eUnited States of America .Laus Deo! Two seemingly insignificant, unnoticed words. Out of sight and, one might think, out of mind, but very meaningfully placed at the highest point over what is the most powerful city in the most successful nation in the world.So, what do those two words, in Latin, composed of just four syllables and only seven letters, possibly mean? Very simply, they say "Praise be to God!"Though construction of this giant obelisk began in 1848, when James Polk was President of the United States, it was not until 1888 that the monument was inaugurated and opened to the public. It took twenty-five years to finally cap the memorial with a tribute to the Father of our nation, Laus Deo. "Praise be to God!"From atop this magnificent granite and marble structure, visitors may take in the beautiful panoramic view of the city with its division into four major segments. From that vantage point, one can also easily see the original plan of the designer, Pierre Charles l'Enfant..a perfect cross imposed upon the landscape, with theWhite House to the north. The Jefferson Memorial is to the south, the Capitol to the east and the Lincoln Memorial to the westA cross you ask? Why a cross? What about separation of church and state? Yes, a cross; separation of church and state was not, is not, in the Constitution. So, read on. ; How interesting and, no doubt, intended to carry a profound meaning for those who bother to notice.Praise be to God! Within the monument itself are 898 steps and 50 landings. As one climbs the steps and pauses at the landings the memorial stones share a message.
On the 12th Landing is a prayer offered by the City of Baltimore;
On the 20th is a memorial presented by some Chinese Christians;
On the 24th a presentation made by Sunday School children from New York and Philadelphia quoting Prove rbs 10:7, Luke 18:16 and Proverbs 22:6. Praise be to God!When the cornerstone of theWashington Monument< style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: #8000ff; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"> was laid on July 4th, 1848 deposited within it were many items including the Holy Bible presented by the Bible Society. Praise be to God! Such was the discipline, the moral direction, and the spiritual mood given by the founder and first President of our unique democracy "One Nation, Under God."I am awed by Washington's prayer for America. Have you ever read it? Well, now is your unique opportunity, so read on!"Almighty God; We make our earnest prayer that Thou wilt keep the United States in Thy holy protection; that Thou wilt incline the hearts of the citizens to cultivate a spirit of subordination and obedience to government; and entertain a brotherly affection and love for one another and for their fellow citizens of the United States at large. And finally that Thou wilt most graciously be pleased to dispose us all to do justice, to love mercy, and to demean ourselves with that charity, humility, and pacific temper of mind which were the characteristics of the Divine Author of our blessed religion, and without a humble imitation of whose example in these things we can never hope to be a happy nation. Grant our supplication, we beseech Thee, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
When one stops to observe the inscriptions found in public places all over our nation's capitol, he or she will easily find the signature of God, as it is unmistakably inscribed everywhere you look. You may forget the width and height of "Laus Deo ", its location, or the architects but no one who reads this will be able to forget its meaning, or these words: "Unless the Lord builds the house its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain." (Psalm 127: 1)It is hoped you will send this to every child you know; to every sister, brother, father, mother or friend. They will not find offense, because you have given them a lesson in history that they probably never learned in school. With that, be not ashamed, or afraid, but have pity on those who will never see this.

Death Metal Grunge Apocalypse - The Flying Turtle is Missing!

At the beginning of the school year, a star was born.  And by star, I mean a flying turtle.  This turtle graced the hallway and guarded the lounge with steadfast loyalty

On February 24, 2009 this majestic being went missing.  No one has seen him.  No one has heard from him.  Recycling bins in the area were search but at no avail.  We urge the community to keep a vigilant eye out for the flying turtle.  

We miss him dearly.  

Feel free to print out this picture and post it around town.  With your help maybe we'll be able to catch the turtle-napping culprit.  Send our turtle home!

Crowded Exile - 3pm Poetry

For those of you get that same rush of hopelessness and flatulence every time a cold wind brushes past your window as you try to get that flipping tetris game to load.

Lovely leaves swivel on the ground

Like forlorn chocolate jibblers.

I look out the window and sigh

With the intensity of those cars

You see in movies.

You know the ones.

Their dark-tinted pools of the abyss

Shine brightly through the jazz-soaked

Night, asking for naught but your

Change that, let’s face it, would likely

End up going toward your nightly

7-11 run.

Well, I'm done doing stuff today. Time to go stare at some cinder blocks.

My Retarded Chemistry Class is full of Retards

First of all, I don’t condone the use of the word “retard.” I don’t like it when people use that word and I don’t want any of you using. I can use it though. My dog is retarded so its O.K. if I use it. Moving on.
Right now, I’m sitting in Chemistry class with my laptop. Why do I have my laptop? Well its because this class is retarded and I’d rather get ADD by stumbling 100 times a minute. Unfortunately, Beeghly building was designed so that no wifi can travel within its walls. So, here I am, semi-listening to the lecture. It was here that I discovered two things: 1) without the internet, my laptop is a $600 video game console that only plays solitaire, 2) my chemistry class is made up of 50% retards, 49% retarded monkeys, and 1% me.
The first guy I heard when I pulled away from the solitaire for a few seconds was what looked to be like some very sad man sitting at about the second row. I think he was trying to answer a question but unless the question was “what’s the most annoying thing you can say when answering a question*” he just looked as if he was asked to explain the meaning of life. Next time, please keep your fucking hand down or I will staple it.

The most boring part of this retarded class (and my favorite) is near the end when the professor decides to hand out a worksheet and have the entire class do it together. I don't do it; I just watch everyone else do it. I look at her just standing there, staring at her retarded students working intently trying to solve a simple proportion problem. Its pretty much silent for 5 minutes with a few brave people now and then blurting out an amazingly wrong answer. Holy shit, when the professor stated "Don't forget to balance the equation," I shit you now, people said out loud "oooooooooooooohh!" Did these people go to high school? Did they fucking fall off the short bus while it was driving past campus and wandered into this class?


*The most annoying thing you can do while answer a question is say "um" in between every word. Using "like" is second.

The Curious Epicurean

For the first time in my entire life I ate at Chik-Fil-A. Being from the North, where Chik-Fil-A doesn't exist I pronounced it Chik-Fila(fill-uh) to which I was severely reprimanded. I have to say the first experience was very satisfying. The lemonade was very good, the fries as well, and the sandwich even though it had pickles on it.

However the second time, was not so enjoyable. I will have to admit, I really only visited again because of the lemonade, you just can't really get good lemonade where I'm from. So instead of a sandwich I decided that I would get some nuggets. This, as will you will see, was a bad idea. Upon arriving I noticed that there were no nuggets, but I decided to wait for them anyway. The other person waiting with me was a rather large kid who already had a 12 piece but was waiting for another. Seriously, 24 nuggets, holy shit! There is a reason that they come in denominations of 12 and 8, because that's how many you are suppose to eat. Plus it's lunch, you really aren't supposed to eat that much anyway. And, as if I could complain more, I was waiting for chicken nuggets, only one and he was standing there holding one. He had to wait for another one, so why not just give me the one he had, I guess he is just a greedy little bitch.

So we continue to wait, as my hunger pangs become more and more frequent. The two guys behind the counter look at the slowly gathering mob with fear. They obviously cannot cook the food and only were able to refill the fry baskets, which we didn't need and check if the drink machines are working. So as we start getting angrier, suddenly a bunch of people, obviously the cooks come from some secret door and start to cook. Where did they come from you ask, lunch break. Lunch break? I cannot believe that it would cross someone's mind that if you work at a fast food restaurant that it would be a good idea to take a lunch break at lunch.

Instead of an extremely fast food experience, I had a painstakingly slow one. I should have waited in the line at the Tavern, the ultimate time suck for on campus dining, it would have been quicker.

Is Your Trendy Millenial Alternative Music Simply Repackaged 90s Alternative Music?: A Chilling Expose

Mmkay I was gonna drop some wordy bullshit exposition on you setting this up, but I respect you so NAHHHH.

Here is my thesis:

New-ish band Silversun Pickups is really just Smashing Pumpkins in disguise.
Smashing Pumpkins and Silversun Pickups are the same band.

Here is my proof:
Silversun Pickups
















Smashing Pum-- WAIT. THIS is Silversun Pickups, that one up there? Smashing Pumpkins. I got confused because THEY'RE THE SAME BAND!







Observe: Smashing Pumpkins. Four members. Three men, one woman. Lead singer? Male with feminine voice. Token Asian guy. That chick? Hot bassist.

Silversun Pickups. Four members. Three men, one woman. Lead singer? Male with feminine voice. A token Asian guy. That chick? Hot bassist.

Smashing Pumpkins. Silversun Pickups. SAME INITIALS! SAME BAND!

Consider yourmind FUCKING BLOWN!

Why should you care?
You shouldn't. This is absolutely irrelevant, and was written simply to get my editor off my ass. What a fucking jibbler.

OR PERHAPS this is some conspiracy by the record companies to control the masses by tricking them into supporting a band they supported 15 years earlier. What a fucking mindfuck. People should take to the streets and riot. I'm sure they will after they read my article.

Curious Epicurean

I realize that I haven't written a post in awhile, sorry Max, I have been quite busy. However I realize that this is no excuse and I apologize deeply. So now on to the post.

Everyone complains about the dining here at American. I have been pretty happy with it, yes the food is a bit sub par but overall I have enjoyed my dining experiences here. That is until now.

The other day I was excited to find out that TDR was going to serve corn dogs as part of a carnival night theme. I am extremely in love with corn dogs. Some people might think that corn dogs are an abortion of food, based on the reactions I got when I mentioned they were going to be at TDR, but they are my guilty pleasure. When I was younger my parents forced me to eat "healthy" and corn dogs did not fall into that category. So whenever I got to eat one I was very excited and thus my love for corn dogs.

I spent the whole day in anticipation of the corn dogs I would consume later that night. I'm pretty sure I ran or walked very briskly to TDR when it was dinner time. When I got there I had trouble locating the promised corn dogs, the reason why was because there were no corn dogs at all. TDR had lied to me but more importantly it had broken my dreams. I even asked a TDR employee if there were any corn dogs and just looked at me like I was stupid. So in retaliation and to prove that I was not making up the part about corn dogs I stole a sign that included those vicious lies.

The "Sassy Chef", the chef that writes back on all the comment cards tried to apologize for this massacre of my feelings but it wasn't enough and it will never be enough.

I will continue to dine at TDR, mainly because I have to. But the dining experience will be bittersweet. I will never think of you the same way TDR, you have broken my dreams.

Jibbles n' Shit Writer Wins Sweepstakes

Considering quitting my day job.

I don't know if people have heard but I recently won some money. And by some, I mean more than you can imagine. That's just how my life goes, you know. One day, i'm sitting on my ass thinking "my life can't get any better can it?" Then raptor Jesus comes down from his golden throne to give me the almighty high five followed by The Holy Spirit. In this case, The Holy Spirit is in the form of a $25 gift certificate.

What's that you say? $25 dollars isn't that much? That must be the jealousy talking becasuse, I assure you, $25 is quite a bit of money. Some people don't even know how many quarters there are in $20, let alone in 25 bones.

Now that we established that 25 smackaroos is a lot of money, its time to set some boundaries. First of all, simply because I am rich now does not mean that I will work for free (Max). I still need a steady income. Hell, I could use a raise as an incentive to keep writing for this dirt poor blog. Secondly, if you were not my friend before God blessed me with his $25 of love you will not be my friend now. Alternatively, I will not be buying anyone's friendship. I worked too hard for my money to give it away just for some attention from poor people like yourselves.

Thirdly, and most importantly, this sudden inheritance of money from Jesus may make me better than you but we're still family :)

Let me explain:

Me.................................................... You

Me.................................................... You

Me................................................You

Me......................................You

Me ............................................. You

Actually, that last one is just bad.

Riddle me this

When it snows I am warm
I like the fat chick from Lost
The answer to this riddle is "no"
The dew from grass is my favorite drink
I wear my sunglasses at night

Can you solve this riddle?

Reviews of American Movie Classics: Citizen Kane Is Bad and Stupid

Everybody thinks that Citizen Cane is the best Movie ever but its realy not that good. we wached it in my Class and its not a good movie and its dumb. The story, the dialoge, the directing, and the acting--all are reasons why Citizen Cane is a Bad movie and its stupid.

Firstly, the Story isnt a good story. It deosnt make any Sense. like the movie starts out with some guy droping a crystal ball because he fell asleep And then they show the news. also people get old really fast and than they get young again In the stories. Its confuseing and i didnt like it. The title makes no sense. they'res nobody in the movie named Citizen Kane so why did they name the movie that? Ive seen better movies thatn this movie.

teh posters lieing its not a terrific its awfull

Secondly the dailoqe isnt any good. People say Things to each other that people wouldnt ever say too eachother in real life. its not realistic enof for me because nobody says a curse word in the movie they dont even say damn or Ass when everybody says those words. Also the movie is in black and white. people think if they make there movie in black and white that means its good. But its really just boring and because theres no colors in the movie i find It hard to focos on teh movie.

Thirdly, the directing is bad.

i dont think I even know who these characters are.

Fourthly the acting is horible. the Actors dont act like real people at all. Theres this one girl that the guy marrys but she has a reallly hi piched voice and shes really dumb if she was my wife i would have hit her in her mouth so she would stop talking. god its really Annoying. the rest of the actors arent convincing and I didnt believe that the people were who they said they were.

In conclusion, Citizen kane is a bad movie. Its' stupid and dumb because of the story the diagloge the directing and the acting. ive seen much better movies that i prefer to this movie like Transformers which was really great and it was better than this movie. It had robots that faught each other.

Robots can fight other Robots

I give Transformers 4 stars out of for.

Riddle Me This

I turn polar bears white
And I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
And girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
And normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
And make your champagne bubble.
If you squeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.

Can you guess the riddle?

Hey, C U Next TuesdayS!

DISCUSS...

Riddle me this

What is black, white crispy and smells like a burning corspe?

Clay Matthews' burning corspe after I beat hit to death for travelling through time- he thinks he's so hot